Summertime Reflections

Submitted by luyen - July 2, 2008 | Add a Comment

I've often heard it said that how you experience life depends on your perspective. In fact, it's almost a cliché to say “it depends on your point,” unless you really, really try to understand what that means. I can't say I really understand what it means, but recently, certain events have helped me examine that idea more closely, and how it relates to peace -- more specifically, peace inside of me.

Parenthood

Roughly two weeks ago some friends visited from Montreal. They had been trying to conceive for a number of years, and had given birth to a beautiful baby boy a few months ago. I was extremely happy for them, and I looked forward to seeing them, and expressing my joy for their newfound family.

They stayed for four nights with me, and I took them around town, showing them the sights. Everywhere we went, the logistics were a bit different with a baby; stroller, diapers, feeding time, sleeping time. I have to admit, I was a bit overwhelmed at what it might mean to be a father, but I was duly impressed by the patience and compassion that my friends radiated towards their newborn; what would normally seem like an obstacle to me, such as getting somewhere on time, wasn't a big deal to them.

Of all the baby emergencies, feeding time was the most difficult for me. It rolled around precisely every two hours and it was like taking a forced break. Ready or not, you had to stop what you were doing, chill out, and let baby do his thing. At times I felt slightly annoyed, wondering if it bothered others that this baby was wailing at the top of his lungs, but there was a kind of graceful acceptance on my friends' part – they seemed happily resigned to accept something they couldn't change, and transformed it into something they happily accepted and wanted to nurture.

Looking back upon those few days, I felt privileged to be around the kind of unconditional ease with which many parents turn difficulties into treasured moments.

Four Days Off, Four Days Sick

The last four days have included the weekend, a day off, and a statutory holiday. Rewind to last Thursday when I caught a cold from my wife, which usually doesn't bother me, as I feel there's a kind of stoic chivalry involved! However, it was the first time in weeks that we finally got some hot weather, and while I hadn't made specific plans, I surely hadn't planned on nursing a cold.

It's the oddest of things, to hang out in the backyard with scorching temperatures, and to feel ill at ease. It's almost like looking at a postcard of a nice day when some of your senses aren't working properly, and your mind is in a congested haze. I kept telling myself, I just hope I don't get anybody else sick. With my parents staying over for two weeks, that was the last thing I wanted. Their arrival certainly helped, and I have to say that aside from some physical discomfort, I felt very loved and taken care of. And instead of going out, I stayed at home with my parents and got to know them better.

Now, maybe not everyone can relate to this, but the interesting thing is that, looking back, I remember times when I've been sick, and how bleak everything looked, and how this time with similar circumstances, I didn't feel too mentally bothered by it. In summary (sounds more formal this way), it seems like there's some clout to the whole peaceful perspective thing, not just hearing it or saying it, but observing it, and trying to look at things in a different way, especially when they aren't going the way we expect them to. I'm hoping I can keep this observation practice going, as I feel that it did bring peace of mind in situations that I usually experience as “not very peaceful.” I'll anxiously await the next obstacle, which should happen well before I write my next blog. Until then!

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